London Baby

I am leaving for London tonight and I am filled with such anticipation. I have not been in Europe since 2003, but I have fond memories of my last visits. I will spend most of my time working on 13thFloor's charity status paperwork, finalizing documents for our office and living quarters. There is so much to get done. I am exhausted just thinking about all there is to do but to quote a familiar line from Friends, "I'm going to London baby!"

I am going back

Well it's official I am going to London for 13thFLOOR (Oh by the way that's the name for what used to be C-Kruis)! I just bought my ticket. There are brochures to design and proposals to draft in preparation for the trip…funny it doesn't feel real. In six days I will be surrounded by double-deckers, the tube and other British paraphernalia. I cannot wait!

Digitally Enhanced Bliss

Thanks to the inventions of techno-rats, I had some amazing conversations with friends that are part of my emotional family. I do not think that I have felt this content and blissful in a while. Friends that form part of my emotional family have a way of enhancing my life like nothing else. You know those people who just get "it" about you and need no explanation when it comes to that "it" no matter what the circumstances. I feel like a can do and face anything when I feel loved and understood by my friends.

"How's your heart?" That's the question my soul longs to hear and ask. These friends know how to access the fragile parts of me, holding it tenderly and lovingly without reservation. When I do the same for them, I discover joy. We ask in our unique ways with different words but the essence is the same, "how are you doing at the core of all that defines who you are?" That is the question that many long to be asked by someone of significance and to have them listen, really listen with from their core. Something happens when you are seen and see others at this level of reality. It is almost like touching something divine and secret.

So I sip my wine and toast this sweet feeling of genuine bliss.

Free to be what?

Today I sat in a teaching about freedom and living your life as a Christian is suppose to be one of freedom. The usual stuff was mentioned you know when they talk about the extremes and how it is bad for you. Stuff most of us have heard before.

Whether you are the type of person who spends all their energy following a prescribed set of rules to avoid formidable consequences or if you are the type who follows what ever impulse pops up with out consideration of any one but yourself, both extremes lead to a situation where you are focused on solely on you. Therefore, only can make your world right, perfect and acceptable.

But then I started to think…is that it? Is it just about avoiding the extremes? Then I thought maybe Jesus was not talking about freedom from something, what if he was talking about freedom to something?

What if freedom incorporates a "freedom to"? What if being in the middle allows us a place of freedom. Somewhere between discipline and self-indulgence, there has to be a place where you can just be free to love people with all your heart the way they need to experience your love. Or free to find one church completely unfulfilling, and another an amazing place of worship and fellowship, without being negative about the former. The picture I have a Jesus is that he was free to leave the temple and spend time with the dregs of society and he was free to ignore the scrutiny of others for doing so. I think so much of Christianity has been about choking the joy out of life and trying to call it freedom, but I think Christ may have seen it differently.

What do you think?

It is Approaching!

In 9 days I will turn 42 (I know The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy fans are having a chuckle). I am not sure what I expect or how I might feel. Age has never really been and issue with me. I actually enjoy being older for the most part. The only draw back is that your body and head do not always see eye to eye. Your mind tells you that you can still attend dance classes 5 days a week with no problem, so you do it just as you have done before. You enjoy that first class. No sweat! You are energized and excited. After about the third class your body informs you that your recent escapade resulted in a painful deficit, because your mind wrote a check that your body cannot cash! Pain sets in places that you never thought or imagined could hurt. But you think it's just because I am out of practice and I need to push through. But again the body reprimands and let's you know that you are not 12 anymore and you need to readjust your plan of action!

Other than that I am looking forward to my 43^rd trip around the sun. Not quite sure how I want to celebrate it this year as it may be my last birthday in South Africa. Part of me wants to have a big bash but another part wants to be chill and alone. I change according to my mood several times a day. My 42 years have been a wild ride but I get the feeling that was just the introduction. I look forward to what's next!

Think a bit

Last Saturday, I was not feeling well and I decide to take it easy. I spent most of the day sitting on my couch reading. I reread The DaVinci Code for a teaching I had the following week and I also read Freakanomics by Stephen D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. I liked Freakanomics so much that I included a portion of it in one of my teachings.

Levitt, an economist by profession, has a way of approaching life without pretence or supposition; the results are exciting and terrifying at the same time. He has a way of lifting up the curtain and revealing the Wizard of Oz for the fraud we see before us. The wizards he tackles in the book are the media, conventional wisdom, and assumption. Some people spend their lives trying to ignore the problems going on in the world, while others focus so much on personal crusades that they ignore and often bend information to support their beliefs. Levitt's background in economy empowered him to take a glaring look at crime reductions, drug-dealer's supposed wealth, cheating teachings, parenting and how the names we choose for our children effect status. In each case he shows what the numbers reveal, which usually proves that conventional wisdom and the media's spin are often under-researched and littered with well-meaning but misguided information assumed by most to be common knowledge. I guess Levitt encourages me to become a sceptic of what I hear, read and watch without becoming sceptical about reality.

It is for these reasons I included a portion of the book's introduction a teaching on how to read the newspaper and engage with media. I want students to seek out information but also realize that what they see is not always the "truth" or even though it may contain substantiated facts. In class, I posed the question, "What is the difference between morality and reality?" It kicked of debate and questions. Ultimately, we landed at Levitt's conclusions that morality is how we want the world to be, where reality is how the world really is. It does not take an expert to see there is often a vast gulf between reality and morality whether from a political, religious or social perspective.

When we take information in its various forms, we often hear someone's "moralized" viewpoint or the presenter is trying to make us aware of the perils in the world because we are not maintaining a certain moral viewpoint. It is very easy to lose sight of the facts carefully woven into the minutiae and solicitations to see them from "Our" viewpoint. Reality can be a hard find when we ascribe to listening to only one side of the story. One has to fight hard to find reality while understanding the motivation behind the presentation of facts within a publication or watching the news.

It is good to take in information from different perspectives with discrimination. That is what the Berean's did in the bible when people shared with them about Christ because they were seeking truth. I want my students to continually to sift through the information they take in, not just swallow it whole and regurgitate it to others. I want them to wrestle with what they experience until they get a peek behind the curtain and glimpse reality.

Missing

Well there are only 36 hours left in 2006 and I feel rather incomplete. I am entering into my 43^rd trip around the sun with a life filled with adventure, adversities and occasional triumphs. There is much to mourn and celebrate when I look over my journey but it produces a sign in me today. I guess I am just missing that feeling and quality of being known. I've been in South Africa now for three years, and although I have made some acquaintances, I would have to say that I have not found a sense of family here.

I have one great friend here, but due to distance and life we are lucky to see each other twice a year for a significant time of communion. People just don't have time for people outside of family here when it comes to those in my age group. I guess I am just feeling melancholy today for my tribe. That group of friends that did not need an occasion or reason to hang out, we just were…together. Together we shared history, experiences, tears, laughs, dances, food, wine, and life. We were a collective of souls running parallel to each other, spurring each other on to greatness. That greatness has spread us apart physically, but our hearts are still interwoven.

With the New Year approaching, I long to begin it with those who just know. No pretence just being- as we are together. When I think of our times together, it makes me smile from the inside of my very being.

Family of friends you are so missed and loved.