Is Lent the Christian Version of Ramadan?

This was the topic of discussion that brought out a number of people to participate in Resto van Harte’s dinner in Schiemond last evening. Resto is a unique organisation whose aim is to create community in rather disparate neighbourhoods by hosting weekly dinners and conversations. The gatherings take place in a local community centre amongst Rotterdam’s crowded government apartments. Last night’s presentation was just as interesting and multifaceted as the diverse group of people who came.

The speakers included a Muslim Imam, Jewish Rabbi, Christian Pastor and a special address from Rotterdam’s first Moroccan mayor, Ahmed Aboutaleb. The Rabbi shared about the significance of Yom Kippur being a time of fasting for atonement, while the Imam shared how Ramadan’s fast helps a follower to attain virtues like humility, while the Pastor spoke about Lent being a time of reflection and prayer to prepare for Holy Week and the celebration of Christ’s Resurrection. It was hard to understand everything that was said (because it was spoken in Dutch and I am still struggling to learn) but I found it interesting that the Imam kept mentioning samenwerk, or team work as a theme of Ramadan.

The people I sat with were also full of colour and conviction. Across from me was a man and woman who became friends through a recovery home. Marion shared that she was from Surinam and had lived in Rotterdam for 36 years. She has four children she rarely sees because of her struggles with addiction. Otto is a young man who recently moved from the home to navigate his life from the perspective of sobriety. There were some older women at the other end of the table but the language barrier kept us from sharing. The three ladies were quite happily engaged in their own conversation.Seated behind me was a table of women, mostly related, from Morocco with their children. They were very friendly and open to sharing about their culture and faith. Each stated that they rely on each other for support since they live about 100 km from their families.

I asked everyone I spoke with what they felt was needed the most attention for change in their community, they all echoed the same frustration - crime and drugs brought to their neighbourhood by young men from bordering areas. They believe these young men leave their own neighbourhood because they fear their families’ punishment for their abhorrent behaviour. Most of these youths are out of work and spend their days on the street causing havoc and being especially tyrannical towards women. Otto said, “I would find it hard to be a woman living here, you do not have the freedom to live your life on your own without being bothered.” It seems to be pretty endemic to the poor urban centres throughout North Holland. Should Reckoning be invited to partner with organisations like Resto and GreenGraffiti I am sure we will have the opportunity to touch on this issue.

The evening was well worth the lengthy train ride. It was great to meet and share life with others and organisations that are trying to impact and empower communities. Resto’s weekly dinner program allows people an opportunity to come together in a safe environment. Jim Bowes was sitting at table next to an elderly man who recently lost his wife. When he spoke about being alone, Jim shared that the man seemed to fold into himself at the mention of solitary life. Resto is providing a platform for otherwise isolated or marginalised people to integrate with others. It will take time and effort for some to engage those who are “different” but it is good that Resto van Harte creates a place for all people share a meal and conversation.

Picture from Resto van Harte’s Picasa Gallery

A Wedding That Changed Hearts

Yesterday my dear friends Shawna and Naos were married in the typical Dutch fashion with a few twists.

In the Netherlands marriage has become a rare commodity in recent decades. Most couples live together without a passing thought about matrimony. For most people here, marriage has been stripped and reduced to the perfunctory signing of documents before a registered government official. It is costly and often without significance, so most couples do not see the point of subjecting themselves to a “meaningless” exercise. Having a wedding in a church is more ridiculous because it is an addition to the state mandated process. I live in a society where a large majority see faith more as a farce and have no connection to a parish. Argument over the matter is futile from this context as most can not imagine another viable alternative.

Shawna and Naos’ wedding was the “third option.” They deliberately brought the spiritual and sanctity of marriage into the ordinary process of a civil service. The ceremony blended two often opposing forces to create something beautiful and accessible to everyone, no matter their perspective about marriage. Instead of the usual 10 minutes of signing documents, the couple selected the largest marriage venue, which allowed many friends to come, and extended the ceremony to include an exchange of vows and readings by yours truly. The ceremony was informal and lively but deep with meaning.

Many of our friends who were adamant against or ambivalent towards marriage experienced a shift as they participated in the ceremony. Some expressed a desire to be married to their current partners or in the future. The ceremony also sparked many questions and conversations about spirituality, God, religion and faith. Revealing to people that marriage and unconditional love are symbolic representations of the relationship the Lord desires to have with humanity was profound especially to those who position themselves far outside the circles of faith.

Shawna asked me to share about marriage in the ceremony and it really seemed to strike a cord with people. Several have asked if I would be willing to speak more with them about faith and marriage and a few have approached me about speaking at their weddings. It was really amazing to be a part of such a beautiful moment. It is a blessing to know also that what was shared really resonated with those who came. I have included what has been deemed “the speech” below.

Many would consider marriage a mystery and wonder why people would do it, but I consider it a mystery because I see vast depth of meaning and symbolism. There is something miraculous about the declaration of marriage as it transforms a couple into something more than just a relationship between two people. Marriage is an invitation to the sacred. A declaration of marriage invites the rest of the world to witness something that is sacrificial, committed, unconditional even holy. This is why mystics have come to say that marriage serves as reflection of the love and fidelity between God and his people.

The love that Naos and Shawna share has brought them to this place of invitation. They are inviting us to lovingly support their union and encourage them believe the best in each other always. They are inviting us to witness the daily sacrifices they will make for each other that will enrich and strengthen their relationship and deepen their love. It is an invitation to Spirit of God to transform them individually and corporately as they rely on God’s love to lead them.

The fidelity and faithfulness of marriage transforms the “ifs” and “untils” sentiments of a relationship to “I am committed” and “I will” statements and actions required of unconditional love. Naos and Shawna’s love for each other gives us insight into the love of God.

"Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always 'me first,' doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end."

I have been watching Naos and Shawna love each other these many months. Two people from different worlds have managed to come together and create something that is unique and precious. I have seen Naos draw out Shawna’s fears by lovingly creating space for her to share her feelings without shame. I have watched Shawna encourage and support Naos’ dreams and desires without tiring. Their relationship is built on mutual trust and continually giving through circumstance and misunderstanding. The two have become one in unity and purpose. It is beautiful and disarming to know that they are willing to work past their differences for the sake of uncovering what is sacred in each other and deepening their love and commitment to one another. I consider it a privilege to witness this union and the beauty that will unfold in their marriage.

I Love A Parade!

Last weekend went to the Gay Pride Parade in Amsterdam with some fellow yanks (sorry Texans and Southerners you will have to cope) to take in the festivities. Now being a California girl, I have been to epicenter of Pride parades in San Francisco and Hollywood; Amsterdam is a much tamer version of reality but the sister cities could learn from their Dutch ally.

Of course the house music was going full steam and the boys and girls were getting’ their twirls on much like anywhere else but there were a few twists on the parade boats that might stop the Americana parade. Firstly, any parade day in Holland is a family affair for all generations, cultures and creeds. I mean you saw just about everyone there and not to just gawk, they were fully invested in having a good time. Grandmothers, grandkids and every age in between lined the canals to cheer and celebrate. The parade may be dramatic but it is not vulgar (well the US boats were the sad exceptions). There was just an air of fun, community and joy.

Another difference, there were no protesters. Churches passed invitations throughout the crowd to join their fellowships offering a message of love. A group of churches even had a boat in the parade with a banner boasting of God’s love for EVERYONE.

Lastly, every high-ranking government office and officer (city, education, police, hospitals, etc) was represented in the parade. It did not seem like an obligation or public relations gig; they seemed to embrace it more as an opportunity to show their support. Many of these official boats created dance routines and skits, which they performed all along the parade route. We sat next to a gentleman who he took the time to point out all the dignitaries in the parade and translated for us. Our private narrator of the parade was there with his two daughters and he was really a wonderful host. Before he left I asked if he been before and he said yes, he comes every year with his kids. I asked him why and he said, “Because it is a parade and it is always fun; it is always a celebration.”

All these elements made me wonder how a country that prides itself on a no nonsense nonreligious lifestyle could foster such a compassionate environment. You may not agree with the practice or lifestyle of homosexuality, but it is something is woven the fabric of our global human existence much the same way as relationships, lying, theft and aging. It is here no matter if you choose to embrace, ignore, criticize or rejoice. I believe a follower of Jesus cannot take the easy out of indignation or self-righteousness to dismiss or by take a perceived moral high ground. After all it says judge not lest you be judged by the same measure (not for the same sin - your sins will be weighed with the same magnitude with which you dole out condemnation on others – ouch!).

Many people wear he WWJD bracelets, but I wonder if they really asks themselves what would Jesus do if he showed up on Gay Pride Day. My bet is that he would approach people much the same way he did when the crowd threw a prostitute at his feet for stoning, or the way he did when he walked among the untouchables – the leapers, the sick and the poor. I would be willing to bet that he would be moved to compassion and from that place act in love, wisdom and restoration. I am not saying that compassion was the aim of the day in Amsterdam, but I sensed a strong undercurrent of it in the crowd. Could that be why the Gay community here does not feel the need to be so militant or defensive in living out their lives because people have made room in their hearts to meet them as people first and homosexuals somewhere else down the line of priorities? Makes me think and wonder. I hope it does the same for you as well.

The Guru

Tonight I attended a bhajan mandalis aka “bhajan” (a gathering to sing bhajans/devotionals) at the family home of a friend’s in Surrey County London. It was a celebration and gathering spurred by the attendance of a family guru or spiritual leader. Apparently this guru’s ancestors were responsible for reintroducing Hinduism to India and my friend’s family has been a disciples of guru’s lineage ever since. From I understand this guru’s family lineage is known for being very gifted and highly revered. Although my main motivation was to go and support my friend and her family who I have come to love, I was also interested in the new experience.

We arrived late to the house and rushed through an obstacle course of shoes (one removes them when entering an Indian home), relatives who were hosting the Bhajan and disapproving looks due to our tardiness. After quickly changing into something more appropriate, we descended the stairs and entered into overflowing rooms filled with about 200 family members who were anxiously waiting to hear from their Baba. We arrived just in time for the initial introductions and blessings of the hosting family (phew) then we sat and made ourselves ready for the coming message by joining in song.

Although I could not understand the words being sung, I could participate in the melody and inflections of the music and singing. The energy and rhythms were infectious and we all clapped hands or tapped along to the music. The people were beautiful, especially the older women. The petite yet powerful grandmothers had faces, which seemed to glow with pride as they surveyed the burgeoning room filled with their descendents. They were honored and respected by everyone in the room; everyone fought to attend to their every desire, need and movement. With their hair simply pulled back into tightly woven buns and understated saris, they stood out in the crowd and drew everyone’s attention – they had presence and grace that just drew you in. Their longevity acted as pillars of great wisdom for the future generations to glean support.

We sat for over three hours joined in song interspersed with messages from the guru. Although I could understand very little of what was said (due to language barrier), one thing really stuck out to me. Baba spoke about the gap between the generations regarding the significance of their faith. Most youth struggle to reconcile religious traditions and spirituality. Somewhere the meanings behind the rituals became lost on the youth, making many Hindu customs seem irrelevant. No matter where I go in the world this seems to be a growing concern of spiritual leaders across many faiths (finally) and a common thread they all share and struggle with daily. I found it interesting Christians and Hindus are experiencing the same tensions and challenges brought on by the wanting to preserve what is significant without holding onto ritualistic behavior that may appear hollow to younger believers. Today most people search for something real and significant; they reach beyond religion and tend to side step anything that cannot fill that void. This is very true also of the Hollanders I meet.

It made me think about how my walk of faith might be perceived by others. Is it something dynamic, comprehensible and inviting to others or does it seem like the mutterings of a woman who is trapped in her habitual rendition of faith? I hope that the people I meet see the former rather than the latter and feel encouraged by and not separated from what and how I believe. That question is one that I will ask myself often as I continue my journey as a Christ follower. Even though we never spoke nor did I engage in the Guru’s teachings, I walked away from that evening a question that will help me evaluate how I am living out what is most important to me.

What Does It Mean?

Does that mean…

you are going to start a church?
you’ll start preaching?
you can marry and bury people?

These are the top three questions I get asked when people hear that I am ordained. I have to say that I chuckle inwardly when I imagine myself leading a church and my close friends have more of the ROFLOL response. I know these questions are asked with sincerity and healthy skepticism. To this end I felt that I should share my perception of ordainment.

Most people associate ordination with priest and pastors who work in buildings where some people gather and worship together on weekends. Maybe this is because the word first appears biblically in reference to Aaron and the first priests to the Israelites and it seems that we get stuck at that positional viewpoint. Anointing, meaning blessing with oil, was the outward expression of the act of ordination. If one was anointed it implied that they were ordained. When Jesus stated that, the Lord had anointed him to preach the good news of the gospel to the poor, was it referring only to a position? To some extent an anointing can be positional but it is a very narrow slice of a pie that was meant to be a banquet.

The word, ordain, was also used when recognizing something the creator designed and called into being. Check out Psalms 8, 65, 11, and 139, and discover what the creator desired and facilitated into existence. Ordain is a verb that implies action and proclamation, a calling out if you will, which may or may not have anything to do with an appointment to a position. Ordination is a recognizing, an acknowledgement, a command of what is.

In some respects we have gotten into the practice of putting the cart before the horse when it comes to ministry. Often people are given positional authority without the experience and testing that Aaron and his sons faced in the desert. It was a way of life for them that had to be proven over and over. A profound shift happened when anointing became based on birthright and veered from the testing that can only happen with time, which at times lead to disastrous results.

When Jesus read from Isaiah 61 he announced what had been ordained to do in this world. He had a deep understanding of what the triune God wanted to communicate to creation about its character and desire for mankind. He embodied that message, which cannot have been put on through study - it was something lived out in his eternal relationship with the one who sent him in the first place. From a young age it was evident that he was going rip to shreds what people thought they knew about their creator. What he shared was something accessible and tangible – that my friends was then and is now “good news.”

Leaders and followers of his time tested this message and its application, which left people mystified or transformed. The fact that people still refer to and argue over Jesus’ teachings is a testament to its longevity and validity in the realm of man. He was truly ordained, not because of his position but because of who he was in this world and what he offered it.

So what does ordination have to do with me? It was the acknowledgment by a body of believers who recognize that I have a gift for missions, art, and inspiring others in a way that helps them come to a better understanding of the “good news”. Dan and Kathleen Prout initiated this decree because of what they observed in the years they have known me. In turn, others who support this observation came together to echo that recognition and enter in accountability with me. In it’s barest form, this is the heart of my ordination.

I could say yes to any of the above questions and pursue those ends (who knows maybe someday I’ll officiate at someone’s wedding), but they are only one of many ways I could express my faith and what I believe I am on this planet to achieve. In truth I think I will keep doing what has been proven and asked of me, because in my heart I think it makes God smile.

South Africa to Amsterdam

If you did not get a chance to see this or you were wondering what I have been up to here you go!

From Delusion to Decision

I am re-reading Richard Dawkins, “The God Delusion” this week; this second go round only confirms what I felt after reading the lengthy introduction to his premise.

I am really thankful to for the professor’s honest missional tome on how this atheist views God in any form as immaterial. Unlike many theocentric writers, Dawkins was honest about his desire to convert you over to his side based upon his research and personal experience. I cannot tell you how many times I role my eyes when I pick up a book on a subject like leadership penned by a Christian compatriots who claims in his introduction that he uses Christian principles throughout the book but has no intention to sway the readers to his viewpoint. Sceptical you may say, but I tire of the subsequent use of the what I would call “Christianese” to the point that I feel like I am sitting through a sales pitch for condos in Florida while on a “free vacation.” If you want to sell me something come right out and say it, and Dawkins did.

He goes head to head with some of the more traditional tenants of apologetics and I have to say that I found myself agreeing with him more often than not. After I shared laughs with his take on what I could only see as misguided or outdated attempts to prove God is really with us, I also felt a twinge of shame. This book could another public nail in the coffin of the rational evangelical movement of Christendom that a large portion of the body is determined to resuscitate. Somehow Christianity went from a community with a purpose, to an institution, to a well guarded rationale that is deemed untouchable. Is belief so fragile that we feel the need to exempt it from testing and reshaping of our perspective? Weren’t the Bereans commended for testing the scriptures in order to get at the truth?

Many believers celebrate when science proves itself erroneous, but doesn’t that make us a bit hypocritical? After all believers endorsed crusades, slavery, the flat earth theory and much more in the name of God’s providence and gladly excommunicated, killed or silenced anyone bold enough to stand against those beliefs. Many of those traditions or schools of thought have proven false and yet there are many heels are dug firmly in the ground. Dawkins' book reminds me that we are living in a time when absolute ideas are being shattered and to speak with certainty regarding a matter of belief may be irresponsible. Faith is believing in what one cannot see or prove, so should we be so fearful of being challenged? Can’t we just say we do not know, when that is simply the case, they way that science does when she cannot find the proof for a well thought out theory?

He also addresses children, stating that until a person is of an age of critical thinking and rationale one cannot use the label Muslim, Christian, or Jewish children so easily. They can be children of Jewish parents, but in the matters of faith, they have not really chosen. I have to agree with this premise as well. Faith is not something you are born with, it is something you choose on a continual basis. It only makes sense to me that one cannot really make a choice without understanding what they are choosing to embrace and what they are letting go of. I know that it may not be possible to grasp every consequence of a decision at the time it is made, but an informed decision is made based on some sort of assessment.

Faith as I understand it is living and dynamic and should not be taken lightly nor is it for the faint-hearted. It is something other, that I am not sure I can quite explain. Even though I am making a second pass at this book, I have to say that I chose to believe, even after Mr. Dawkins’ valiant attempt to sway me otherwise. But I can say that reading his book has changed the way I believe and the way I view people who do not share those beliefs. It also affirmed my faith, yes I said affirmed, because it challenged what I accepted as truth while also giving me the words to back some things I believed to be rubbish. Even though we are still approaching life from different perspectives and disagree about some things, I did see “The God Delusion” as an invitation to re-examine faith, enter into a dialogue and an opportunity to dispense of some dead wood. It also gave me a chance to challenge my faith and decide to hold onto to it, in spite of how others might view my decisions. That is something that Dawkins’ may not have perceived, but it is the effect it had on this foolish follower.

In Pursuit of Weightlessness

Last weeK at the National Portrait Gallery I had the pleasure of listening to Ivan Putrov, a principle dancer from the Royal Ballet, who recently returned from a knee injury that kept him from dancing for 11 months. He quoted from one of Waldemar Janusczak’s critiques were he describes the plight of a ballet dancer, “Spotlit on a stage, isolated from the quotidian demands of the heartbeat, out of reach of the basic rhythms of life, the ballet dancer dreams of the divine state of weightlessness. But — and here we get to the nub of their tragedy — the only time humans ever really achieve that state is when they are dead. Thus, ballet, with its insatiable appetite for zero gravity, is the most tragic of all the arts.”


I really related to this quote because in a way I feel that Christianity his similar in that way. One of the things that we try to achieve is to usher in God’s kingdom here on earth but like weightlessness, we can only achieve such a feat when we are quite literally dead. I mean when we allow ourselves to die to our own agenda, since of entitlement, and greed to name a few, we position ourselves so that we are willing to give more and be more in and to the world we live in. In fleeting moments that humanity achieves such a thing it is beautiful and awe inspiring, much like seeing the ballet dancer who is able to leap with extraordinary ease into the heavens with legs and arms fully extended, gracefully released from the pull of the earth. It takes your breathe away.

It is my dream that Christians would desire to take the worlds breathe away as we lay our lives down and pursue the “weightlessness” of bringing God’s dreams and desires into fruition on this earth. So few people achieve the status of Prima Ballerina, maybe that is why few Christians set out for the task and even less continually strive to remain there. Both ballet and Christianity require countless hours of painful sacrifice and daily practice (which no one sees) to achieve something momentary, and when the moment has passed one goes back to the basics until the next moment presents itself.


In order to effect change in the world by ushering in God’s perspective cannot be done, in my opinion, with picket signs and boycotts. Nor will it be achieved by prayer and fasting alone. It requires action - signing up for a suicide mission. I also believe we (Christians, humanity, etc) need to ditch the idea that true fulfilment comes when we train ourselves to resist our desires. I see things differently - when you die, your deepest desires fulfilled, this is when you become weightless as Janusczak put it so aptly. When you pursue the One who created you and knows you best the crap just falls away, making room for that which is pure, lasting and most satisfying. Crazy yes, but I think it is crazy enough to work.

Angry God?

I found this article online and sent this article out to my regular supporters, but I wanted to share it with my friends as well....

Was Jesus Mean? By Dr. Ray Pritchard

I confess to never having thought about the question until a friend raised it in an email recently.

Was Jesus mean? The answer, obviously, is no. I think the question is meant to highlight a deeper issue. Why are some of the followers of Jesus so mean if he wasn't? I don't know that I can adequately answer that question without going back to the question of Jesus himself.

Jesus was not mean, but he could be very, very tough. He sometimes used very strong language when speaking to people he regarded as hypocrites. In a withering excoriation of religious hypocrisy in Matthew 23, he compared the scribes and Pharisees to whitewashed tombs, which is a worse insult than it sounds because the religious leaders prided themselves on their outward righteousness. He could be tough on his own followers also. In Mark 8:14-21 he tells his disciples that they are spiritual blind and have hard hearts. When he appeared to the two disciples on the road to Emmaus, he calls them "foolish ones" and "slow of heart to believe" (Luke 24:25). He told certain Jewish leaders in John 8:44, "You are of your father the devil." The notion that our Lord was always "gentle Jesus, meek and mild," as if he spent his days saying nice things to make people feel better is only possible if you never read the gospels.

He was gentle and meek and mild and kind. But that's not the whole story.

He also demanded that his followers commit themselves to him wholeheartedly.

He had no patience for hypocrites who took advantage of others while ignoring their own sin.

Say what you want about Jesus, but don't forget that he took a whip and overturned the tables of the moneychangers, driving them out of temple precincts because they had made a house of prayer into a den of robbers.

Jesus could be very, very tough.

But was he mean? The answer may rest in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps some of the Pharisees and those moneychangers whose tables he overturned thought he was mean. After all, it was precisely because of his righteousness that they plotted to put him to death. His zeal for God aroused envy that turned to murderous hatred.

But was he mean? A quick check of the dictionary gives us these definitions and synonyms: offensive . . . selfish . . . nasty . . . malicious . . . small-minded . . . contemptible . . . petty . . . cruel . . . vindictive.

None of those words applies to Jesus. Isaiah 42 speaks of God's servant who will come to establish justice in the land. It is a prophecy of the coming of Christ to the earth. The prophet says of the Servant of the Lord that "He will not shout or raise his voice in public"(v. 2 NLT). That seems like a good standard for evaluating our actions. Mean people use threats to get their way. They shout because they are angry and fearful of losing control. They raise their voice when they would be better served by remaining calm. Mean people use ridicule and biting sarcasm to put others down. They are contentious and unkind and they mistreat others and don't think anyone of it.

Was Jesus mean? No, but he could be very, very tough. I admit there is a fine line here, but I also say that Jesus never came close to crossing that line. He was tough when he needed to be tough and tender when he needed to be tender. He knew how to treat each person exactly as they deserved to be treated. That includes blind beggars, sincere questioners, little children and proud Pharisees. Everyone got what they needed from Jesus. Some of them, like the rich young ruler, went away sorrowful, others marveled, the common people loved him, and many of the rulers hated him for his honesty.

So why are some of Jesus' followers so mean? I can't answer that question, but I know I need to look into the mirror and think about my own life. A mean Christian is not just a contradiction in terms; it is a terrible slander on our Lord. When Christians are mean, when we raise our voices in anger, when we use cruel words to hurt and not to heal, we give outsiders yet one more reason to disregard what we believe.

…It makes you think. Alycia

Wonder and Awe

Remember Edwin, the student I took into my home?

Well Sunday night we had a conversation – you know one of those bare bones, raw, "come to Jesus" talks that cut through the bull and gets to the point. Sometimes love is tough and it can mean saying those things that others are too nice to say; Believe me I did not make the mistake of being too anything. Let's just say he was loved well in truth. We covered many topics about his character, how people perceive him and how the choices he makes and avoids determine his future. By the end of the conversation he was wide-eyed. He said he needed to think it all over.

The next day he took action. He made appointments and had some hard conversations. He said he knew it was time for him to take ownership of his choices. He had a hard day and was pacing by the time I got home. Some of the talks did not turn out the way he expected but he was willing to admit that the results were positive overall and that was enough to encourage him to face some obstacles. I was so proud of him!

Tuesday, in out strategic meeting we needed to fill a position on team due to a leaving team member. Someone mentioned Edwin as a candidate. At that moment had an a- ha moment – Maybe that's why he needed to stay with me. Is God up to something in this situation? After several discussions, the SA director and the red tour leader met me at my home to meet with Edwin. We discussed the pros and cons of him joining the team 3 weeks prior to tour and how what was expected of him. Several times we came back to a place of why now and not before and although some of the questions were hard, I could see the gleam of joy in his eyes as he committed to face the challenges ahead.

As the conversation subsided and I prepared to go back to the office, we hugged as our emotions swelled. "Well I guess God was waiting for our conversation on Sunday," I said. He hugged me tighter and said, "I think your right."

Edwin is back on team!

The Other Side of Faith

Yesterday the UK team got some hard news. We do not have the funding we initially projected for the team to launch as we planned this year. At this moment I am faced with question of faith. Do I believe what I cannot see or the circumstances I see in front of me?

My heart is leaning towards holding on to promises and scripture because it is it tendency to hope, while my head is racing with escape plans and damage control schemes. It is in these moments that I rediscover that faith not a one-time decision based on repeating some prayer in the front of a church with people cheering on your decision to dedicate your life to Christ as a Saviour. Actually faith has a point of initiation but it has to be chosen continually – habitually if you will for it to actually be effective and true.

It is like marriage, you do not say your vows on your wedding day and swipe your brow and say, "phew, I am glad I don't have to do that again," but the reality is you do. When your spouse has incensed you to the end of your patience, you have to choose to recommit to your vows. To have and hold, even when you want to let go; in sickness and health even when the thought of being with that person another minute makes you nauseous; until death do you part especially all your thoughts are devoted to clever ways to expedite the process. In those moments one has to choose again to believe that the relationship is worth restoring even though you can not see how or why it is necessary.

Choice is the other side of the coin that is faith. One does not exist without the other. So I am praying, again, that I make the choice to believe that which I do not see at this moment to come to pass because it was promised. Right now, I choose to choose faith in something more.

The Climb

I have to say my time in London was a whirlwind to say the least. So much was accomplished but at the same time, I spied the mountain ahead we must climb. As I stood in its shadow I thought, only God can make this happen, then happily breathed a sigh of relief.

I met with many people for various reasons. A ministry called the Core that feeds homeless people through out the city; Scripture Union's Richard Shaw, who will help us work with UK schools and churches; artist who are interested in working with our ministry; barristers, consultants, schoolteachers and students whose input was invaluable; and friends both those I have longed to see and new ones I cannot wait to know better.

As of today we are officially registered as 13^thFLOOR as a company! Now we can apply for our charity status, open a bank account and tackle a mountain of paperwork. This was a very important step towards establishing ourselves in the UK. It moves us closer to becoming a recognized service organization that others seek for partnership. Several companies I met with are anxious for the completion of our accreditation so they can work with us.

I believe this trip encouraged me to dream big and trust deeply in all that God is doing and moving for this team to move to the UK. A few months back the story of Gideon was linked to our team, we will be a small but mighty army of ragtag individuals who follow God's lead into a victory. That is my prayer for us that we will always be in a position where God can lead us towards victory in the UK for the people we will encounter and hopefully transform.
It is time to start climbing!

Free to be what?

Today I sat in a teaching about freedom and living your life as a Christian is suppose to be one of freedom. The usual stuff was mentioned you know when they talk about the extremes and how it is bad for you. Stuff most of us have heard before.

Whether you are the type of person who spends all their energy following a prescribed set of rules to avoid formidable consequences or if you are the type who follows what ever impulse pops up with out consideration of any one but yourself, both extremes lead to a situation where you are focused on solely on you. Therefore, only can make your world right, perfect and acceptable.

But then I started to think…is that it? Is it just about avoiding the extremes? Then I thought maybe Jesus was not talking about freedom from something, what if he was talking about freedom to something?

What if freedom incorporates a "freedom to"? What if being in the middle allows us a place of freedom. Somewhere between discipline and self-indulgence, there has to be a place where you can just be free to love people with all your heart the way they need to experience your love. Or free to find one church completely unfulfilling, and another an amazing place of worship and fellowship, without being negative about the former. The picture I have a Jesus is that he was free to leave the temple and spend time with the dregs of society and he was free to ignore the scrutiny of others for doing so. I think so much of Christianity has been about choking the joy out of life and trying to call it freedom, but I think Christ may have seen it differently.

What do you think?