Desperately Seeking A Home

Today I hit the streets of Amsterdam to see the flats I had found online while in Portugal. My moving schedule was expedited by the coming nuptials of Shawna and Naos at the end of the month.

I went to see three places and I have to say that they went from worst to far worst. I had Shea with me for one of them and she was afraid to let go of my hand. Let me paint the picture; imagine the smell of a communal high school locker room times ten and that would come close to the smell of the small one room studio we saw. No windows, no carpet, no way! That was the highlight of the day.

So after my first day on these cobblestone streets, I have to say that I am a little discouraged but I will press onward. I know that there has to a place for me somewhere, I just have keep looking...apparently quite hard.

Momentary Pause

This is my one full day in Amsterdam and I have to say that it is good to be home. I missed the city, friends and even the brisk cold.

I have about 48 total hours and a long to-do list to work through, but I decided to take a moment to breathe. Some time to sit for a while, to soak a bit. know it is a quick turn-around, but it is good to stand still for a moment in the midst of the blur that is my life. Like Ferris said, “Life moves pretty fast,you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

Where Have You Been All My Life?

Yesterday, Shawna and I joined this collaborative work space called the HUB (www.the-hub.net) in Amsterdam.

In two days we met amazing people who are excited about Stichting Reckoning and want to help us succeed. It is like a giant playground for workers. We all show up at the sandbox with our best toys (our talents, connections and experiences) and share with each other to see what we can create. I believe it is a major cornerstone for us.

It so caters to my skill set and bent for landing myself in the middle of innovative situations. If you are struggling, just ask a question and there is most likely someone at the HUB who can help or at least direct you to some one who can. One stop shopping. I have to admit though it is very much geared for extroverts, so I can only take it in moderate doses. But I have to say what I experience in those sweet moments is well work it.

How many of you would like to work in an environment like this? What do you think about a mobile shared office?

Yes It Really Is That Cold!

Last night the temperature dipped below -15 C last night. I found this picture on Flickr (http://www.flickr.com/photos/mjaquet/). It was taken on Keizergracht in Amsterdam.

Play at your own risk! It is noisy and goes on for a minute. I am enjoying the winter weather and the light snows and frost. It is really beautiful to this Cali girl.

But I do have to say that I am looking forward to Portugal too!

I Love A Parade!

Last weekend went to the Gay Pride Parade in Amsterdam with some fellow yanks (sorry Texans and Southerners you will have to cope) to take in the festivities. Now being a California girl, I have been to epicenter of Pride parades in San Francisco and Hollywood; Amsterdam is a much tamer version of reality but the sister cities could learn from their Dutch ally.

Of course the house music was going full steam and the boys and girls were getting’ their twirls on much like anywhere else but there were a few twists on the parade boats that might stop the Americana parade. Firstly, any parade day in Holland is a family affair for all generations, cultures and creeds. I mean you saw just about everyone there and not to just gawk, they were fully invested in having a good time. Grandmothers, grandkids and every age in between lined the canals to cheer and celebrate. The parade may be dramatic but it is not vulgar (well the US boats were the sad exceptions). There was just an air of fun, community and joy.

Another difference, there were no protesters. Churches passed invitations throughout the crowd to join their fellowships offering a message of love. A group of churches even had a boat in the parade with a banner boasting of God’s love for EVERYONE.

Lastly, every high-ranking government office and officer (city, education, police, hospitals, etc) was represented in the parade. It did not seem like an obligation or public relations gig; they seemed to embrace it more as an opportunity to show their support. Many of these official boats created dance routines and skits, which they performed all along the parade route. We sat next to a gentleman who he took the time to point out all the dignitaries in the parade and translated for us. Our private narrator of the parade was there with his two daughters and he was really a wonderful host. Before he left I asked if he been before and he said yes, he comes every year with his kids. I asked him why and he said, “Because it is a parade and it is always fun; it is always a celebration.”

All these elements made me wonder how a country that prides itself on a no nonsense nonreligious lifestyle could foster such a compassionate environment. You may not agree with the practice or lifestyle of homosexuality, but it is something is woven the fabric of our global human existence much the same way as relationships, lying, theft and aging. It is here no matter if you choose to embrace, ignore, criticize or rejoice. I believe a follower of Jesus cannot take the easy out of indignation or self-righteousness to dismiss or by take a perceived moral high ground. After all it says judge not lest you be judged by the same measure (not for the same sin - your sins will be weighed with the same magnitude with which you dole out condemnation on others – ouch!).

Many people wear he WWJD bracelets, but I wonder if they really asks themselves what would Jesus do if he showed up on Gay Pride Day. My bet is that he would approach people much the same way he did when the crowd threw a prostitute at his feet for stoning, or the way he did when he walked among the untouchables – the leapers, the sick and the poor. I would be willing to bet that he would be moved to compassion and from that place act in love, wisdom and restoration. I am not saying that compassion was the aim of the day in Amsterdam, but I sensed a strong undercurrent of it in the crowd. Could that be why the Gay community here does not feel the need to be so militant or defensive in living out their lives because people have made room in their hearts to meet them as people first and homosexuals somewhere else down the line of priorities? Makes me think and wonder. I hope it does the same for you as well.

Come on Visa!

I’m Official! (Well for the next 6 months)

I had my appointment with the IND (Immigratie-en Naturalisatiedeinst) on the 6th and thanks to the help of my brilliant lawyer, Patrick Rovers, and faithful friend, Shawna Snow, I had all the documentation I needed to apply for immigration. It has come after months of stress and tons of money just to have this little beauty in my passport. Can you believe it?

It was rather miraculous how everything came together in less than 10 days! Seriously, I thought that I might need to fly home rather than risk being here illegally. That would have caused a 3-month delay in things so I am glad that it all panned out suddenly. Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement.

Well I am one step closer to my residency card. This sticker in my passport means that IND has deemed my application complete and will begin to process and decide my eligibility for residence. My application is contingent on the business I registered, past experience and proving I can make it here. I have done all I could do at this point and my fate is in their hands.

Look Who's on Board

We have news to share about Reckonings progress…we have our board chairman, Derek Webster. We met him earlier this year at a conference where he truly encouraged the Reckoning team. He fully believes and backs what reckoning is seeking to create.

After he decided to join our merry band presented us with an eloquent treatise on why he joined Reckoning. It really resonated with who we are and in some ways added clarification. Here is an example of its goodness…

“Reckoning is an excuse. It is an excuse to bring others together in a way that both blesses them, and helps them engage in a dialogue with Christians. Reckoning seizes the opportunity to influence, while positioning itself relationally for impact.”

I do not think I could have said it better myself. We are really excited to have him on our team. Derek is an international consultant, writer and all around great guy with many achievements and letters behind his name. We are so happy that he has decided to be an integral part of shaping and influencing Reckoning.

Visitors

For the first time in my years of living overseas I am starting to get visitors who come to hang out with me and see where I live. It has been really wonderful to hear from so many of you who are willing to make the trek to see this beautiful continent and lovely city.

I cannot tell you how much it lifts my spirits to see good friends and be encouraged. Even though I am not fully settled, it is nice to know that people want to come take a look at how I getting along out here. The conversations and hugs have made my summer. Thanks you so much for coming! I hope more of you can make it here too! Looking forward to see those who are coming in the fall.



The Parks family came from Grass Valley, CA after spending time in Morocco.














Hilde flew from South Africa to London where we met and spent lovely days taking pictures.














Jean-Marie (from Santa Rosa, CA) and Susan (from Afghanistan) were in the country for trainings and came to spend the day in Amsterdam.

Just Like the Dutch

What I am coming to love about the Dutch is their sense of efficiency with style; this compensated for the fact that they were telling me that they could not help me and I would have to start the whole process again.

So I went to the KvK, which is the Dutch version of chamber of commerce, where I was to register my business as part of my immigration process. When I walked into the door two very nice women at reception offered to help me. Within moments I was given additional forms and a number; I was directed to the waiting area. What a waiting room!

Okay! There are tables with comfortable chairs for completing paperwork, but that is only the beginning. While you are waiting there is free coffee, tea and hot chocolate, and you can also surf the net at a sleek consoles at an elevated bar. I am sure that I waited about 20 – 30 minutes for the agent to help me, but it seemed to go by fast. I was checking my email when an agent walked over and announced my number in English because the receptionist let her know (I asked). I was latter escorted over to a desk with a where I had a one on one with the agent. She reviewed my forms, helped me complete the additional form I was given.

Even though I was given some bad news, the lady was very nice and she told me how I could correct the problems. All in all it was a very swift process and relatively painless outside of the bad news. Just about every day I find something new to appreciate about my adopted country.

Bos en Lommer Festival (22 June continued)

This is Ali and David (he is the one who connected us with the New West Directors)
at our booth

We also had a canvas for people to paint their own expressions.

This is what the canvas looked like after the first hour


Hard at work painting


We taught the kids about Artist's Trading Cards (see previous blog) so
that the kids could trade with each other.



Here I am working with the kids making ATCs.


Showing her handy work.

What A Day

You ever have one of those mornings that you wish you could stay in bed all day but can’t because you are expected somewhere and it is too late to cancel?

That is how this morning started for me. I was sick and spent most of the previous afternoon in bed trying to stave of whatever bug that was trying to keep me down. When I tried to open my puffy eyes I could feel that my head was on the verge of imploding under the sinus pressure. But I had to get up it was Reckoning’s first event today in Bos en Lommer!

We got the kids ready and dressed and out the door 10 minutes after we were suppose to leave and the throbbing in my head seemed to quicken as my pace did through out the day. We made out way to the Bos en Lommerplein and I jumped out of the car to track down anyone who could let us know where we our booth would be located. It took 7 degrees of separation before I found someone I recognized and could take me to the one person who had the lay of the land and pointed us in the right direction. At this point I was trying to convince myself that it would be worth staying after the set up instead of returning to the comfort and warmth of bed.

It has been my experience though on days like these, when you have nothing to give beyond your presence and you are not really sure you even want to offer that much, that wonderful things happen. Things you never imagined or thought to ask for; today was no different.

It was miraculous that we were asked to be in this festival in the first place. Through the sports and culture director of Bos en Lommer, we were unexpectedly introduced to the New West Regional Directors of Cultural Arts and Education. These two women were so impressed with our off the cuff presentation of Reckoning that they provided a booth for Reckoning to participate in the upcoming Festival in Bos en Lommer. They wanted to help us initiate relationships with the community we desired to work in. For this reason I got up and went and stayed.

But in reality I got more than I expected by being there. We had so many kids show up and watching them express their creativity was well worth it! There are so many stories but I will share my favorite of the day. At one point I think we had about 15 kids making Artist’s Trading Cards and about 7 kids painting at the canvas, three little boys came up to the art supplies and each grabbed what they could and ran off in separate directions but met behind shed on the other side of the road. I am sure that they assumed Ali and I were too busy to see them but I caught the whole thing. So I left the kids and walked around to the side of the building and held out my hands. It was amazing how quickly the kids started making excuses in English. I took the items said thank you and walked away. I told them they could come back and participate if they wanted to. A few hours later when we were cleaning up I saw the boy who was the ring leader standing off to the corner. I grabbed a set of coloring pencils and walked over to him. He immediately started saying, “ I did not take anything else, I swear!”

I stopped him and said, “I know, now that we are finished I want you to have them – here’s two more for your friends.”

He was really confused; he did not know whether to be sad or happy. “I told you, I did not take more, why are you giving me this? I took from you, I don’t deserve this.”

“Maybe not, but I want to give them to you anyways.” So these are for you, I hope you can use them.”

“Thank you …I am sorry…thank you,” he mumbled with his head held down.

I reached down and touched his shoulder and I waited for him to look up and then I said, “You’re welcome, I hope I see you when I come back in October, bring your friends.”

He put his head down then walked away. When he crossed the street I saw him look back and flash me a big smile.

I could not think of a better way to express grace. When you deserve to be punished for your action but instead you are given what you do not deserve. I hope that is the experience that he left with. I also experienced it myself in that I was feeling horrible and did not want to be there, but having that moment made me realize that I also received more than I gave or deserved.

Gotta Dance

This weekend Ali and I helped out at a friend’s wedding. We did or best to make sure that the couple and wedding party were able to enjoy themselves without worrying about the incalculable details that come with the wedding reception. Although we spent hours on our feet with little time to slow down, the reward at the end of the night made it all seem worth it.

After the food was cleared away and order was restored to the kitchen, we were released from our duties and invited to join in the celebration. I was really tired and was considering heading home for the night – but then the DJ started to play. If you know me well, you know how much I love music and that it is near impossible for me not to dance no matter how tired I am. And boy did I dance! For the next few hours I made the dance floor my primary occupation. After about an hour Ali came in and joined me and we got down to funk music from the 70’s and 80’s.

Something happens when I dance – I become happy from the inside out and experience pure joy and childlikeness. I see something similar in others as we move together on the floor each bringing out unique styles to the playground. Everyone plays well together, there are no bullies and everyone gets their turn; the place is filled with laughter and intensity at the same time. Like kids at play, your language, age, or history do not matter when you dance. You create your own culture together and celebrate each other’s company, all without the hindrance of words. You just enjoy yourself and the others as the music moves you.

When I freestyle dance I experience a freedom like no other. For lack of better words, I really find my groove. There is no room for insecurities or malcontent, as the music plays I just express of who I am while mingling with others doing the same. Somehow on the dance floor we make room for each other’s essence when we really let go and just dance. It was great to be in a room full of people who get that and do so with out hesitation.

When I went out dancing in the US, that kind of experience only happened in the company of a few friends I could really clown with on the dance floor. If they were not with me, there was hardly anyone engaged that kind of autonomy as they moved and I would feel displaced. But when we got together with kindred soul, we would just enjoy what we created and embodied on the dance floor; maybe that is why we loved it so much and would go out of our way to do it so often. Dancing on Saturday made me miss and celebrate them. Veronica, Megan and Eddie were with me in spirit as I mused on the dance floor. I remembered all the freedom and laughter we shared and wished you were with me to experience the collective camaraderie. I know you would have loved it as much as I did and you would have stayed on your feet with me for as long as they could carry us.

That is so Dutch!

Last week an agent was showing Phenny’s apartment to two potential renters (both from the UK) and the following happened…

While the clients were looking at the place I asked the agent how things were going with the placement. As the people were coming down the stairs the agent blurted, “well the place is already rented out to someone, we are just showing it until they meet the owner!” You should have seen the look on the couples face! They were shocked, but I just had to chuckle. Believe it or not bluntness is quite the norm here. Diplomacy is optional.

Another example:

The week before, Christine and I went to a French Café near Shawna’s home to have a glass of wine and get to know each other. The place was empty so I went inside to tell the owner that we wanted to sit outside for drinks. She replied…”We are a restaurant and you can get drinks at the pub on the corner.”

Time is very valuable to the Dutch; it is not wasted on those who do not warrant it. They lavish it on friends and family or projects that are meaningful, but rarely on a happenstance. If there is no immediate sense of value they become very frugal. It is one of the things I find so endearing about the culture. I know it may come across as harsh, but when I climb behind the initial shock and awe to discover their heart, I cannot help but embrace the Dutchness.

4 Days

This weekend Embellish, one of Reckoning’s companies, participated in the Atelier Celebration in Amsterdam. Atelier is the Open Studios Tour in Amsterdam's Jordaan Area which started in 1988 as a small-scale initiative of fifteen artists working in this picturesque old neighborhood, it has, over the years, grown into a phenomenon that draws many visitors and has become internationally known.

The Open Studios attract thousands of visitors to the Jordaan’s artist community. This year there is art in abundance - to see, to buy, and to discuss with the artist. It is an ideal way for galleries to scout for new talent. Ali was able to make some major contacts for Embellish and Reckoning and it gave us a chance to meet new neighbors in the Jordaan.

Yesterday we participated in the Serve the City Amsterdam’s kid’s party in Bos en Lommer. Bos en Lommer is a section of Amsterdam with over 30,000 residents living in 2.71 km area (about 1.6 miles) representing over 178 cultural backgrounds. Many of the recent residents are new immigrants who are separate from much of Dutch culture. They are often marginalized socially, culturally and economically in their adopted country and the children are trying to cope within this reality without the necessary skills to navigate through such obstacles.I had fun playing with the kids, serving water to parents and making pannenkoeken, a tasty dessert, for the children.

There was one 18-month-old girl in particular I noticed when I first arrived. She was of Middle Eastern descent and at the park with her grand parents and she never smiled, not once, while she was walking around the playground. Her distraught grandparents tried to get her to play on the swings, slides and seesaw, but she wandered around resisting everyone and everything. Then the face-painting area set up and she was one of the first children to participate. She sat in complete stoicism as the girls touched her face and began to paint. What broke the dam was when she looked in the mirror and saw her little face a smile finally erupted and she giggled and clapped her hands! It was like watching a new child emerge from with in her. For the rest of the afternoon she was running and playing and engaging with others. It warmed my heart to see how something so simple and creative could have such a profound change in a child.

By using art as a platform to facilitate transformation, Reckoning hopes to address some of the essential issues, which shape a child’s personal identity and their place in the world.

Today we are headed to Bos en Lommer for meetings with Podium Mozaïek to discuss a proposal to hold a Reckoning Event and offer workshops in the Bos en Lommer area. We have such a desire to connect and become part of this community and we believe that there are incredible opportunities that lie ahead for everyone involved, but most especially the children of Bos en Lommer.

Cruising In My Hood

One of the benefits of being in such a wonderful city is that you can always find something new. Most days I take time to familiarize myself with the neighborhood as I take walks to help me battle some serious jet lag (yes it is still hitting me). Here are some of my encounters…

First let me start of with where I am staying...This is the outside of the flat where I stay: The open window is my room!



And here’s the street we are on.



The fresh fruit at the markets are amazing and I have a wonderful store right on the corner. Look at the size of these blueberries. Mouthwatering goodness.




My arrival could not have been timed more perfectly. The sun is out and everyone is eager to be outside as much as possible. At the Saraphatipark near our flat people gather after work to bbq, relax and unwind.





Those who are lucky enough to own a boat take their happy hour on board. Hey who wouldn’t want to tan while you sail?



I will not bombard you pictures of all the amazing architecture, cute shops or the Heineken Brewery that litter the area, you will have to wait until I create an album or you will have to come see it for your self.

Cheers!

South Africa to Amsterdam

If you did not get a chance to see this or you were wondering what I have been up to here you go!

Morning Meditation

If New Amsterdam, aka New York, is known as the city that never sleeps then its predecessor can equally share this moniker. Amsterdam teems with activity around the clock. In my experience I cannot recall a time when the streets are devoid of traffic and life. Early this morning I walked the streets to battle my jetlag, and I believe I may have stumbled onto a time when the sleepless city actually slows down.

Like most living organisms we give little attention to life giving art of breathing (unless we are deprived of it) but when we become attentive there is a possibility for something to shift. There is something calming and rejuvenating in the art of drawing breath then releasing it. As I could hear my own footsteps, I became aware of that a powerful gathering and releasing was taking place in the city. I discovered a cadence that I would ascribe as a meditation.

Monitoring the ebb and flow of breath was practiced by Eastern mystics then Biblical Prophets to helped them still the mind’s constant clamor and focus their entire being on the essential. This morning I observed the city exhales all she endured the previous week and slowly draw in what will sustain her through the next. The constant activity usually drowns out baseline of the city. Most days Amsterdam’s pavement is assaulted by massive amounts of people on foot, on bikes, in autos and such, but now the traffic is sparse. Joggers, city workers and a few incidental tourists are her only company - if one listens carefully you can hear her breathing in relief.

She exhales those weary early departures who trek begrudgingly to the train station, who move onward to something else; she inhales the bright-eyed “early bird gets the worm” tourists and new arrivals who rush to take in the “Amsterdam experience” while their energy is at a premium. She exhales last night’s frenetic antics of the red-light district, coffee houses and clubs that make her infamous; she inhales a serene calmness that has allowed her to endure and carry the deep love of intimacy, kindness and innovation characteristically found among the Dutch. She exhales the garbage, confusion and loneliness of those seeking something they believe she can manufacture in place love and acceptance; she inhales the clean, pristine, hope of something new and life giving as her streets are made clean by the diligent hardworking street cleaners.

As I think about this imagery I notice my own breath changing, becoming more synchronized with the city I find in the early hours of daylight. I slow as she has slowed to focus my thoughts and release my cares, I feel myself I shadowing meditative flow of the morning. As my chest rises to take in the crisp morning air I am graced with a peace and understanding that helps me to listen and see – I struggle to hold it in but then I am forced relinquish and seek replenishment. I pass by the flower mart, I breathe in and watch the slow careful process as shop keepers turn the cranks to open their booths to receive the days flowers, much the way a waking infant opens his eyes in anticipation of seeing a loved one; then I release my desire to sleep as I slow to watch the city shake of the night before. As I pass a subterranean window I breathe in quickly - I am startled as by the upward stare of a woman wearing lingerie with one leg propped on a chair as her TV spits out the news in the background; from deep within I release a smile that I hope cuts through my astonishment and her cold stare.

Each time my lungs fill, I mirroring more of the city’s mediation. I find myself strengthen to endure much, like she has, as my heart becomes more in tune Amsterdam’s own heartbeat. The simultaneous competing rhythms of our breaths and heartbeats underscore baseline that is the song of love that is being written. We are falling for each other. I reintroduce myself to the city this morning, I tell her I am back and ready to offer my love, in kind Amsterdam welcomes me to into the rushing waves of her own meditative inhalation. She offers to take me in deeply and fully, I let go and dive deep.

I’m here!

It’s 8:30 in the evening in Amsterdam and it is warm and sunny!

When I stepped out of the train station after 17 hours of traveling it was a breath of fresh air hit me as I took in the sites of the familiar scenery. I do have to say that things look different now that I am staying.

I feel like I am about to enter one of the most exiting times in my life, I just have to leap into it. Here I go!

A Little Taste of Europe. (Un peu de goût de l'Europe)

Today is a day of memories and visiting familiar places while missing what I anticipate in Europe. One of the things I miss most about Europe is the ability to go just about anywhere on public transportation or the power of your own two feet. California leaves one feeling stranded most of the time if you dare not to posses a vehicle.

During one of the fleeting moments I was graced with a vehicle, I drove around aimlessly until I landed in my old haunt Santa Monica. Some of my most vivacious and delectable times of my life were spent on this delectable tidbit nestled on the California coast. When I parked the car at the library and walked around I felt refreshed and giddy almost instantly. The transformation was almost magical. I felt like I was lovingly basted in the familiar and future simultaneously.

Santa Monica is one of those cities that embody some of the best the Angelinos have to offer. People wake up daily to the majesty that is the beach and the smorgasbord of characters that make the place so colorful. It is a mélange of old, new and ‘tween commingling in harmonious rhythm without losing their autonomy. Santa Monica an eco-friendly, neighborhood where most people really know your name and often genuinely care how you are. Returning to my old haunts and home, I came across so many friends who immediately stopped everything to exchange morsels of our journeys even thought I arrived unannounced – that is Santa Monica in my nutshell.

It was marvelous to be surrounded by people who walk or bike to the neighbourhood grocer or street market and find every occasion and opportunity to have an adventure. That sweet place in Santa Monica that exists outside of the promenade phenom filled a hunger in me that I cultivated in Europe and abroad. Its aromas and appetizing lifestyle are tempting me to overindulge, but with Amsterdam calling me home it offers me a taste of something that I long to feast upon.









Apt I shared with my sister

My Next Move

It is official! I am moving to Amsterdam. If you would like to on my mailing list, please send me a message with your direct email address with subscribe in the subject.

Blessings, Alycia