Thursday 29 November 2007

Last Days of Ignorance


Saturday marks the beginning of my 3rd month of sabbatical and I am not sure that I am quite ready for it to begin.

The first two months of my time off were to be spent without serious contemplation of my future endeavors. It was to be a time of rest, learning, writing and reflection and I have been pretty vigilant about maintaining this boundary even when presented with enticing offers. Now I am anticipating a struggle that I am not looking forward to. Figuring out what this next phase of my life will hold is intimidating. I have no idea how long it will take only that it is a journey I must start. Time is pressing because I cannot remain on sabbatical forever and frankly I think I would have been bored if I were left without some target to aim towards. I think I fear disappointing people, because it is inevitable that someone will come away with that experience, if I do not disappoint myself.

So it begins…soon.

But today I will enjoy the frivolity of suspended choice and the comfort of words on the page. Trying, with minimal effort, to push back the questions seeping into my consciousness.


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