Just Amazing!

I know I've been out of touch a bit but it was for a good cause. I spent last week in the Western Cape participating in a youth camp called GAP. If the name sounds vaguely familiar to some of you, it's because I was part of the first Gap camp in the Netherlands. This was also the first camp in South Africa and it was great to be reunited with old friends from the states.


There were 28 kids attending and from Kiamondi, a township near Stellenbosch, Cape Town and Stellenbosch area. Most of them were orphaned or abandoned by one or both parents, and a few were affected by HIV in their families. To hear their stories would break your heart and there were few moments when we were able to maintain dry eyes as we prayed in preparation of the camp.


The first day, the kids were reserve and withdrawn. Some of them met before at school, but it was clear they were not in their element and trust was not a high commodity in their lives. Each one fell into a role or mask that was comfortable to them, but as each day passed, we saw the hardened exteriors start to crack to reveal an authentic self and the subsequent freedom it brings.


On of my favourite moments was with a 15 year old boy named Lwando which is Xhosa for 'something growing'. His father left his 17 year old mother a 3 after he was born and has another family. He is devastated because in the Xhosa culture a boy must go through an initiation into manhood before he is recognized by his clan and can claim his father's name. Without a male role model he cannot complete his initiation with honour nor is he fully recognized by his tribe. This shame is on top of the constant feelings of abandonment. Our last night with the kids we offer them a chance to exercise forgiveness and make positive commitments, after his turn I found him off in the corner bent over. It was obvious he was having an internal struggle over his conflicted feelings towards a father he never really knew. We spent some time away from the others talking through feelings he buried deep but could not longer run from.


"How can I want to love some one I want to kill?" That is the question that most of these kids deal with daily. After an hour or so he started to integrate his feelings of despair into his current and future reality. He found a place to hold those opposing emotions and make peace with himself for having them. Robb, one of the trainers, wept openly before the group as he imagined his life without knowing his son. To us it is unfathomable how parents can leave their children and never look back. Whether children are physically or emotionally abandoned the scars are deep and lasting. It is a sad reality that it happens everyday all over the world.


Seeing Lwando's courage to find a way through his struggle was a wonderful gift. I wish there was a way to snap our fingers and make this problem go a way; 28 lives may not mean much in the grand scheme of things but at least it is a chance to influence a potential break in the constant flow towards despair. I pray that Lwando and the others hold on to what they learned last week, I know it will make a world of difference to them and maybe the world.